c7e67-boobs

Is Anyone Else Being Constantly Punched In The Tit?

Bar two days I’ve been off work with Finley all over Christmas. Its been lovely, Christmas and all its shenanigans and then just having normal days with him. Taking him to soft play, getting his breakfast, buying a multi pack of Petits Filous because he was actually around long enough to eat them all. We spread his Christmas over our two families, as you already know his upbringing is pretty much a family affair and its been great to be with him and everyone important in our lives. Its been pretty chilled, slow paced, relaxing and well just lovely.
Until I recount all the injuries I have sustained … Seriously in a ten day period I have been bruised, poked, pinched, slam dunked and quite frankly conquered by my two year old. On the whole its been unintentional, but it all still hurts like a mother fucker. First up, he apparently likes to pinch my fat. If my muffin top is a bulging, he’s right there pinching and giggling. Thanks kid, like I need that non so subtle reminder.  He also likes to tickle people, which is really sweet and all good fun in theory. Except his tickles aren’t tickles, they are prods and pokes. He gets all his fingers together, comes at you from across the room and shouts “iggle iggle! iggle iggle!”. And you have to grin and bear it because you love him and stuff but it really does hurt like a bitch. He’s also taken to slam dunking people, this situation arises when he wants you to be a horsey but you haven’t figured that out in time. So he launches himself at your back, knees to the kidneys and arms tight around your neck. You either go down and submit or you choke to death in seconds.

However, the worst injury of all has been sustained in the tit department. My boobs have relentlessly been used as launching pads for two weeks solid. To get up off the sofa, to move around the floor and to ecstatically to answer the door.  Apparently my mammary glands have just the right buoyancy to hurl a two stone, two year old into orbit. Awesome.  And the trouble is, its always with the elbows, those tiny little, needle point elbows. I actually shrink and shudder every time he comes to sit next to me now. Why the elbows all the time? Why not the hands dude?

I’m not glad that Christmas is over, but my tits are. Happy New Year!

27 thoughts on “Is Anyone Else Being Constantly Punched In The Tit?

  1. Hilarious. My two year old yesterday punched me in the tit with his left hand, and then, in a remarkable demonstration of his language development said: “Wake up, other handy! We have work to do here!” and punched me in the tit with his right hand. Brilliant.

    Marie-Clare at onesinglemama.org

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  2. Hilarious. My two year old yesterday punched me in the tit with his left hand, and then, in a remarkable demonstration of his language development said: “Wake up, other handy! We have work to do here!” and punched me in the tit with his right hand. Brilliant.

    Marie-Clare at onesinglemama.org

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  3. AMAZING. My son likes to lift up my top and power-slap my belly whilst yelling “JIGGLY JIGGLY JIGGLY!!”, usually only ever in public places like in busy street corners on the school run, or once, memorably, during the prayers at the school church service. Thanks kid.
    Excellent use of swearing by the way! *follows blog immediately

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  4. AMAZING. My son likes to lift up my top and power-slap my belly whilst yelling “JIGGLY JIGGLY JIGGLY!!”, usually only ever in public places like in busy street corners on the school run, or once, memorably, during the prayers at the school church service. Thanks kid.
    Excellent use of swearing by the way! *follows blog immediately

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  5. My boys are almost 10 and 11 and they are still forever injuring me through accidental head butts and stamping on my toes ha, I think this is just the way it is until they finish growing and become less clumsy😉
    Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix

    Stevie x

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  6. My boys are almost 10 and 11 and they are still forever injuring me through accidental head butts and stamping on my toes ha, I think this is just the way it is until they finish growing and become less clumsy😉
    Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix

    Stevie x

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  7. lol! I have to say luckily Ethan doesn't punch me in the tits, but he does tries to launch himself on top me so I can give him a piggy back or a piggy front. Not really ideal as I have a bad back… poor you. At least you'll get a little break now. Thank you for linking up. #FabFridayPost xx

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  8. lol! I have to say luckily Ethan doesn't punch me in the tits, but he does tries to launch himself on top me so I can give him a piggy back or a piggy front. Not really ideal as I have a bad back… poor you. At least you'll get a little break now. Thank you for linking up. #FabFridayPost xx

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  9. Haha this post made me laugh so much because I can relate. My little one loves to kick my boobies when I change her clothes and now my husband had taught her to say booooobies and tries to get them out. It's so embarrassing when we are out and about!!! #picknmix

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  10. Haha this post made me laugh so much because I can relate. My little one loves to kick my boobies when I change her clothes and now my husband had taught her to say booooobies and tries to get them out. It's so embarrassing when we are out and about!!! #picknmix

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  11. hah yes I can sympathise, I have a three year old who loves nothing more than bouncing on/off me!! He has to leap off everything and if I happen to bend down to pick something up off the floor, he'll be there trying to climb on my back!! #mmwbh

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  12. hah yes I can sympathise, I have a three year old who loves nothing more than bouncing on/off me!! He has to leap off everything and if I happen to bend down to pick something up off the floor, he'll be there trying to climb on my back!! #mmwbh

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