My fourth interview is with Cash Carraway, writer of the alternative lifestyle and family blog The Comeback Mum. Cash lives with her daughter in London and writes from her unique perspective on parenting, life, fashion and politics. I can’t remember how I found Cash’s blog but I did and its certainly one of my favourites. There’s nothing I love better than brutal honesty and you’ll find plenty of it there! I voted for this blog in last years Mumsnet Blogging awards when it was nominated for Best Writer and Best Campaigner.
This year to celebrate Mothers Day, I’ve interviewed a group of Mums that I particularly admire. They are all Mothers with different experiences, views, stories and opinions. Some are from the blogging and social media world whilst others are ones I know in real life. I’m running the series through out this week and we’ll be talking about birth stories, parenting advice, sleep deprivation and much, much more!

How did The Comeback Mum begin, have you written blogs before, are you a writer by trade?
Back in 2010 when I was pregnant and living in a women’s refuge I started a blog – which I am not allowed to name for legal reasons. Some pieces from it got re-published in magazines and I was approached about writing a book but then literally weeks after giving birth my blog became the subject of a court case. The case went on for two years in which I was not allowed to write anything for public consumption. It was a pretty soul destroying time so I hid away and focused solely on being a mum.
I finally pieced myself back together and started The Comeback Mum in 2015 because I really missed writing and blogging. And I’m so glad I did, it has changed my life!
In terms of a trade I guess I am a writer. I mean, it pays the bills and has done for a while. Before I had my daughter I wrote reviews for music magazines. Then I worked on the news desk of a hateful tabloid, then on a low ranking soap opera, I got sacked from both…

How do you feel about your social media following and influence?
Social media is lovely because it means quick connection. I love sharing stories, I love hearing stories and I guess social media is an instant outlet for that. Everyone on social media is influential whether you have one follower or one million – I love how it gives everyone a voice, regardless of whether or not you agree with them!


What do you think about sharing and giving parenting advice?
Personally I don’t really have advice to give anyone, my advice is rubbish, I just share my experiences. Parenting is so personal. I believe that our instincts provide us with the answers as to what is right for our kids.

What’s the worst parenting advice you’ve ever been given?
Controlled crying. My daughter wasn’t big on sleep as a baby (she still isn’t) and a friend said that controlled crying was the ONLY way. I know it works for some parents and I do not judge anyone who takes that route, but personally it wasn’t for me. After 45 minutes of ‘controlled crying’ I was just like, give me my baby – she is crying ‘cause she needs her mama. I felt so guilty, it just felt so cruel.

You recently moved back to London, what do you love most about the city?
London is the best city in the world and I am so proud to be a born and bred Londoner! Whenever I’m out of London for too long I feel something in my soul die, the city really is a part of me. I love the street theatrics and that you can always get good food. I love the rose garden in Paddington Rec, jogging along the Thames, the Westway, the Catford Cat, the Curzon, the Royal Court Theatre and the Edgware Road after midnight. The constant flow of culture and the art of rudeness – that specific way Londoners react to someone not knowing how to use an escalator correctly sets my cynical heart alight! Saying that, I also hate London in many ways, it’s becoming a playground for the rich and social cleansing is eroding its identity. Continue to push out the creatives and the city dies.

Who would you say was your hero or idol?
There are a few; the author Bret Easton Ellis and Nicky Wire from the Manic Street Preachers for the way they both manage to combine triviality with high art – such a skill. Joe Strummer because he was just the coolest and the short story writer Amy Hempel.

What has been the most challenging aspect of being a Mother?
It’s just quite hard being a mum isn’t it?! Lack of time. Constant tiredness. Attempting to remain a whole person with interests/ ambitions whilst trying to keep a little human safe…

Did you feel afraid to be a single parent?
For me it felt right and to be honest I didn’t really have much of a say in the matter! Of course it was frightening knowing that I would be doing everything alone but that’s probably more to do with people’s perceptions of what a single mother is as opposed to what motherhood or parenting actually entails.

How did having a child change you?
She saved my life, dramatic but true. Before I fell pregnant my life was a ridiculous mess – she made me sort myself out.


Can you tell us about your birth experience?
I had all the drugs so it was a complete haze. But basically I gained a daughter, lost a vagina.

What kind of Mum did you think you would be?
All I ever wanted to be was the opposite of what my parents were. They got together when they were both very young escaping violent and emotionally abusive homes and unfortunately they weren’t able to break to cycle… Even when I was a child I was always clear in my mind that when I had kids I would break the cycle of violence and abuse.

Did you turn out to be that kind or completely different?
Yeah, thankfully my approach to parenting is very different to what I grew up with. There is no violence, secrets or fear in our house.

In what ways is your daughter, most like you?
She is her own unique little person and I would hate to inflict her with my darkness – thankfully I don’t think that she has that in her so maybe that comes from nurture as opposed to nature? We share a sense of humour and she is relentless when it comes to getting her own way! But she is much cooler than me, just so laid back and a good judge of character with healthy self-esteem, she’s amazing. Is it weird that my best friend is a 5 year old?!

If you have a child free day/ evening what do you like to do?
I’m so dull! A night to myself would be writing without interruption and in the background I’d be catching up with Andrew Marr and Question Time on IPlayer. Or maybe I’d go and see and band. I’d treat myself to a bottle of diet coke and a sneaky cigarette – living the life. Wish I could say something interesting but…

How will you be celebrating Mother’s Day this year?
We live right on the River Thames so we’ll just go and feed the ducks and have a milkshake. Simple mother/daughter days are the best.

 

The Mothers Day Interviews: Cash Carraway

24 thoughts on “The Mothers Day Interviews: Cash Carraway

  • March 10, 2016 at 4:53 pm
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    This is a great interview. Its so great to get to know more about other bloggers this wya. What a fab series. Thanks so much for linking up with #MadMidWeek

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  • March 11, 2016 at 7:52 am
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    Aw, what a lovely interview. 5 year old best friends are the best! Really! Thanks for sharing #FabFridayPost

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  • March 11, 2016 at 11:11 am
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    Such a fab interview. Cash is such an inspiring writer, she makes me want to get out there and grab life! 🙂 #fabfriday

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  • March 11, 2016 at 11:38 am
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    Brilliant interview. It's so interesting to hear how other mums overcome such adversity; they really inspire me to get my finger out and start living life to the full! #fabfridaypost

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  • March 11, 2016 at 11:54 am
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    One of my absolute fav bloggers, so glad I stumbled upon this. The determination of this lady is exceptional and it always shows in her writing. Great interview!
    #FabFridayPost

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  • March 11, 2016 at 12:39 pm
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    Really interesting interview! I'm so with you on controlled crying – I can only manage ten minutes, tops. Hope you both had a great mother's day! x #fabfridaypost

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  • March 11, 2016 at 1:03 pm
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    I can totally understand how she considers her daughter to be her best friend – being a mother to an almost 5yr old girl myself I could quite happily spend every minute with her, there is no doubt she brightens my day just looking at her 🙂 Thanks for introducing me to someone new to stalk on social media!! #Picknmix

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  • March 11, 2016 at 1:59 pm
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    Love the idea of interviewing other bloggers, makes it more of a personal experience knowing the person behind the blog. Love her response to her birth experience “gained a daughter, lost a vagina” brilliant x

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  • March 11, 2016 at 2:06 pm
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    This is such a lovely and honest interview. I'm 100% with you on the controlled crying, I don't think it works at all and I definitely think it can cause long-lasting negative effects for babies. How fabulous that you live right by the river, I'd love to live so close to the Thames X

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  • March 11, 2016 at 6:24 pm
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    I agree – such great questions and honest, heartfelt answers. The answer to what is most challenging about being a mom really resonated with me. I'm glad I've been introduced to Cash and I'll definitely be checking our her blog. #FabFridayPost

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  • March 11, 2016 at 10:33 pm
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    LOVE LOVE LOVE. Cash's blog is brilliant and it's fab to hear a bit more about her. I was surprised to hear about the issues with the first blog-I had something along those lines happen to me (although not involving a court case thankfully) and I couldn't blog for a while, which was awful. I think when you are meant to write, it always comes back somehow-and I admit I had been wondering about the blog name! #FabFridayPost

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  • March 12, 2016 at 12:17 am
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    Completely relate to wanting to do some things differently to how our parents good things. Keep raising the bar and hopefully my daughter will want for her kids what we did for her and no more x #fabfridaypost

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  • March 12, 2016 at 3:07 am
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    Hahaha, don't feel bad, I lost a vagina too! I love how blogging brings everyone together from around the world… I'm from Canada and I love reading all the UK blogs and realizing that we really are all cut from the same cloth! Cash sounds so down-to-Earth, and I can completely understand her need to not be like her own parents, as mine also had run from abusive homes and had a lot of growing up to do while raising us. Anyways, great read!
    #FabFridayPost
    Tori
    http://www.themamanurse.com

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  • March 12, 2016 at 11:47 am
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    Great Interview. Cash sounds like a very inspiring woman and mother. Ive not come across her blog before so I may have to pop over and have a little read 🙂

    #fabfridayposts

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  • March 12, 2016 at 9:07 pm
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    Great questions and some amazing answers. Thank you so much for sharing ;).

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  • March 13, 2016 at 12:51 am
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    After being in a abusive relationship with a man who was continually trying to get me pregnant I knew I had to get away, I could not be linked to this man, I finally did get away although not easily and not without years of being stalked. I finally met a man who I felt worthy of my trust and we have children. I would do anything to protect them from the violence of my past and from the darkness I suffered. I admire you for giving your daughter such light and such a safe and happy home. You have so much to be proud of! Your daughter couldn't ask for a better role model. #fabFriday

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  • March 13, 2016 at 7:42 am
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    Brilliant interview, what a lovely mum 🙂 I will go and check out her blog now… #PicknMix xxxx

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  • March 13, 2016 at 2:34 pm
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    Wow this is such a fab interview and Cash sounds like a very inspiring person. I haven't come across her blog before but will definitely be checking it out #picknmix

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  • March 17, 2016 at 12:04 am
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    You keep introducing me to brilliant blogs I haven't come across before with these interviews 🙂 Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix

    Stevie x

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  • March 17, 2016 at 2:16 pm
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    Great interview! It sounds like living in London is great, I love visiting but don’t get to do it often as it’s quite a trek from Nottingham. Thanks for linking to #PoCoLo
    PS: Loving the new look honey!

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  • March 17, 2016 at 4:48 pm
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    I’ve loved this whole series, the range of mums you’ve talked to has been fantastic. I particularly enjoyed the line gained a daughter lost a vagina 😉 mine is gained two sons lost the 6 pack (honest I had one…..pahaha!!!)xx

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  • March 17, 2016 at 7:16 pm
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    What a great interview. Cash is such an inspiration. Wow! To think what has she gone through is so incredible and a little sad but I am so glad that she has finally found happiness. I am so following her! 🙂 #FabFridayPost

    Reply

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