Before my current job, it was my experience that being a Mother was viewed as a negative by an employer.
In fact when I was interviewing for a new position I would mentally list the reasons why I should get the job (experience, skill, enthusiasm) and why I might not get the job. On this list would be the fact that I am Mum.
Yes I had allowed myself to believe that being a Mother made me less capable, less skilled and therefore less employable.

Now logically I knew that growing a tiny human being had not suddenly rendered me stupid. Everything I knew about my role had not swiftly dropped out of my head the moment I clapped eyes on my baby.
I knew that the way I was being treated, the way I had allowed myself to be treated was wrong. So why was I being such a push-over? Why was I suddenly such a little mouse?
I had come back to a role way below my pay grade. All those skills, all that experience, all that hard work and I’d been put back to where I had started.
My confidence was completely shattered and self doubt and self preservation crept in.
At my lowest I convinced myself I was lucky to have this job, I was lucky they had taken me back at all. I would catch myself deliberately dumbing myself down to compensate for other peoples inadequacies, feeling that my input was no longer required despite the near decade of experience behind me.
I started to become someone else, someone a bit wet behind the ears and I didn’t like it. Over time it became apparent that I was being treated as a flight risk for another baby and I knew that would never change.
So somehow I plucked up the courage, relocated my balls and sort other employment. Better employment. Not only the role I was used to but something more, a challenge, something that offered opportunities and advancement.

This is the second bravest and best thing I have ever done (first being Finley).
Where I am now, I am not being judged on the probability of my fertility but the quality of my work. My employer knows I’m a good egg, worth investing in and so I’m starting to remember that too. In fact since starting my current job I’ve realised that I’m actually a better employee than I was before I had a baby. I’m suddenly so much more organised, I can plan the shit out of anything. My ability to multi-task is seriously on point, I used to work very methodically, start a task complete it, move to the next one, complete it, move on to another. Now I’m able to jump from one to another and back again and juggle twenty things at once.

So if you’re heading back to work after maternity leave, don’t forget to take your balls with you.
Its going to be rough at first, you’ll miss your baby and you’ll feel out of touch with everything that you’ve missed in the workplace. But take your time and don’t forget how great you are, even greater now that you’re a Mum!

image source

 

Relocating My Balls After Maternity Leave

64 thoughts on “Relocating My Balls After Maternity Leave

  • August 28, 2015 at 8:09 am
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    I've been a stay at home for 9 years now and it is almost time to retire from that role and I've been scared about the prospect of work and adults, so this post really made sense actually thanks for sharing #picknmix

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  • August 28, 2015 at 8:09 am
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    I've been a stay at home for 9 years now and it is almost time to retire from that role and I've been scared about the prospect of work and adults, so this post really made sense actually thanks for sharing #picknmix

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  • August 28, 2015 at 8:56 am
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    Oh yes – virtual high five-ing you right now. I had this, over and over and I couldn't agree more, take those balls along #effitfriday

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  • August 28, 2015 at 8:56 am
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    Oh yes – virtual high five-ing you right now. I had this, over and over and I couldn't agree more, take those balls along #effitfriday

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  • August 28, 2015 at 10:25 am
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    Well done on not standing for bad treatment – glad your new employer is much better. #picknmix

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  • August 28, 2015 at 10:25 am
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    Well done on not standing for bad treatment – glad your new employer is much better. #picknmix

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  • August 28, 2015 at 11:31 am
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    9 years of juggling/ multi tasking/ tolerating tantrums – don't worry you've got all the skills you need right there! x

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  • August 28, 2015 at 11:31 am
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    9 years of juggling/ multi tasking/ tolerating tantrums – don't worry you've got all the skills you need right there! x

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  • August 28, 2015 at 11:41 am
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    Hi thanks a lot – straight back at you! Yep sadly I am not alone in experiencing this

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  • August 28, 2015 at 11:41 am
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    Hi thanks a lot – straight back at you! Yep sadly I am not alone in experiencing this

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  • August 28, 2015 at 1:16 pm
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    What a brilliant post and such a great message! Why should you have to feel like that just because your a mother? We mothers are strong and amazing things and I find it so sad that many workplaces still don't see this and they see us as ''less''. Good on you for getting out 🙂
    #effitfriday

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  • August 28, 2015 at 1:16 pm
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    What a brilliant post and such a great message! Why should you have to feel like that just because your a mother? We mothers are strong and amazing things and I find it so sad that many workplaces still don't see this and they see us as ''less''. Good on you for getting out 🙂
    #effitfriday

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  • August 28, 2015 at 9:33 pm
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    Well done you for standing up for yourself!! Such a lovely read! Suz x Beauisblue.com

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  • August 28, 2015 at 9:33 pm
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    Well done you for standing up for yourself!! Such a lovely read! Suz x Beauisblue.com

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  • August 29, 2015 at 6:46 pm
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    My return to work was a good one. I was lucky enough to have a year of maternity leave with my girls. My return was a pleasant one. I returned to the same job so aside from a few new faces everything worked out well. Good on you for standing up for yourself. Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky

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  • August 29, 2015 at 6:46 pm
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    My return to work was a good one. I was lucky enough to have a year of maternity leave with my girls. My return was a pleasant one. I returned to the same job so aside from a few new faces everything worked out well. Good on you for standing up for yourself. Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky

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  • August 29, 2015 at 8:44 pm
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    Caitlin Moran wrote in How to be a Woman that having a baby supercharged her ambition. I read that before I became a mother and I didn't get it. I had always assumed that once I had a child I would want to stay home or go part time if possible, and that if it wasn't possible (it isn't) I would tread water and just do enough to get by at work. Then when I had a baby, I totally realised what she meant. As a single parent, my son depends on me, and I owe it to him to set a good example and to support us both. In a way I'm glad I never had a choice about whether or not to go back to work, as if I had a partner who earned enough to support us all that may have been the end of my career.

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  • August 29, 2015 at 8:44 pm
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    Caitlin Moran wrote in How to be a Woman that having a baby supercharged her ambition. I read that before I became a mother and I didn't get it. I had always assumed that once I had a child I would want to stay home or go part time if possible, and that if it wasn't possible (it isn't) I would tread water and just do enough to get by at work. Then when I had a baby, I totally realised what she meant. As a single parent, my son depends on me, and I owe it to him to set a good example and to support us both. In a way I'm glad I never had a choice about whether or not to go back to work, as if I had a partner who earned enough to support us all that may have been the end of my career.

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  • August 29, 2015 at 10:30 pm
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    What a fab to the point post. It is truly shocking that so many employers treat mothers the way they do but good for you that you did something about it. I love that! The title of this so good too. Oh and er….if you can plan the shit out of anything (how that made me chuckle), please could you organise my blog workload (winky face). Thanks for linking to #effitfriday!

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  • August 29, 2015 at 10:30 pm
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    What a fab to the point post. It is truly shocking that so many employers treat mothers the way they do but good for you that you did something about it. I love that! The title of this so good too. Oh and er….if you can plan the shit out of anything (how that made me chuckle), please could you organise my blog workload (winky face). Thanks for linking to #effitfriday!

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  • August 30, 2015 at 9:22 am
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    Well done for standing up for yourself great post thanks for linking to the binkylinky

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  • August 30, 2015 at 9:22 am
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    Well done for standing up for yourself great post thanks for linking to the binkylinky

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  • September 2, 2015 at 5:57 pm
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    I've just returned to work to a new school and I know what you mean about being viewed as A risk for having another baby. Luckily after having 3 I don't think they worry now Haha. Great post and thanks for linking to #picknmix

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  • September 2, 2015 at 5:57 pm
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    I've just returned to work to a new school and I know what you mean about being viewed as A risk for having another baby. Luckily after having 3 I don't think they worry now Haha. Great post and thanks for linking to #picknmix

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  • September 6, 2015 at 8:55 am
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    I am lucky enough to have a fantastic employer who actually encourages his staff to have their family! There were no issues upon my return to work, and he was over the moon when I said I was pregnant again. It's sad to think that some employers think they can treat their staff the way they treated you, but well done you for sticking up for yourself. If I'm ever in your position, I will walk into my workplace with my balls firmly in hand! #binkylinky xx

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  • September 6, 2015 at 8:55 am
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    I am lucky enough to have a fantastic employer who actually encourages his staff to have their family! There were no issues upon my return to work, and he was over the moon when I said I was pregnant again. It's sad to think that some employers think they can treat their staff the way they treated you, but well done you for sticking up for yourself. If I'm ever in your position, I will walk into my workplace with my balls firmly in hand! #binkylinky xx

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  • February 26, 2016 at 12:43 pm
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    What a great post! On point and so true – it's hard to believe that there are still employers out there who think it's acceptable to judge a colleague's worth in the workplace on the likelihood of her reproducing! #fabfridaypost

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  • February 26, 2016 at 12:43 pm
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    What a great post! On point and so true – it's hard to believe that there are still employers out there who think it's acceptable to judge a colleague's worth in the workplace on the likelihood of her reproducing! #fabfridaypost

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  • February 26, 2016 at 5:06 pm
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    Great post and I agree with what you say about becoming a Mother making you a better employee in some ways. It really does make you more organised because you have to be, better at delegating, better at time management, better at resolving conflict. This list is endless 🙂 #fabfridaypost

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  • February 26, 2016 at 5:06 pm
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    Great post and I agree with what you say about becoming a Mother making you a better employee in some ways. It really does make you more organised because you have to be, better at delegating, better at time management, better at resolving conflict. This list is endless 🙂 #fabfridaypost

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  • February 26, 2016 at 7:06 pm
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    I've been in the same job (well company) for 15 years now, I got comfy, I took 6 months off after each of my three kids. I was 19 when I got the job, and my then boss, asked if I was planning on having any kids soon!! Didn't think anything of it at the time. I only work part time now and only stayed there out of convinience #FabFridayPost

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  • February 26, 2016 at 7:06 pm
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    I've been in the same job (well company) for 15 years now, I got comfy, I took 6 months off after each of my three kids. I was 19 when I got the job, and my then boss, asked if I was planning on having any kids soon!! Didn't think anything of it at the time. I only work part time now and only stayed there out of convinience #FabFridayPost

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  • February 28, 2016 at 6:28 pm
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    Great post, I guess as women we will always face issues returning to work after mat leave. I have been lucky, done two mat leaves and got back to my work without problems but I am not looking to move on and I wonder how hard it will be to find something else when I have 2 children to worry about. Will I be able to work long hours? What happens if they are ill? Those are the worrying issues for working mums
    #fabfridaypost

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  • February 28, 2016 at 6:28 pm
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    Great post, I guess as women we will always face issues returning to work after mat leave. I have been lucky, done two mat leaves and got back to my work without problems but I am not looking to move on and I wonder how hard it will be to find something else when I have 2 children to worry about. Will I be able to work long hours? What happens if they are ill? Those are the worrying issues for working mums
    #fabfridaypost

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  • March 2, 2016 at 6:35 am
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    I was self employed both before and after child birth but I have to say that having children does increase your ability to multi task and be more organised. #FabFridayPost

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  • March 2, 2016 at 6:35 am
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    I was self employed both before and after child birth but I have to say that having children does increase your ability to multi task and be more organised. #FabFridayPost

    Reply
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  • July 21, 2016 at 5:58 am
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    Thank you for this inspirational post. When I got pregnant my work offered me a demotion and after a legal wrangle I told them to shove it and now I have no job to go back to. I gave had pangs of regret, but you are right, I should never want to go back to such a place. I CAN and I WILL find a better job. #StayClassyMama

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  • July 21, 2016 at 6:47 am
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    I’m going to re-read this before I go back in September! Hopefully it’ll give me the boost I need 🙂 #stayclassymama

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  • July 21, 2016 at 8:52 am
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    Yes – I hate feeling like a second rate citizen going back after maternity, like we have to prove our worth in the workplace all over again. #stayclassymama

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  • July 21, 2016 at 8:20 am
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    Great post, good for you! I didn’t return to work after having my third baby, mainly because I was already pregnant with my fourth and then my fifth before maternity leave was even close to ending. I would be really worried about going back into the work place now, my confidence in my job has completely diminished and I have no idea how I would be able to engage in adult conversation either!! I’m hoping to go self employed when the time comes to get a job! #stayclassymama

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  • July 21, 2016 at 10:24 am
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    Yay, seriously thank you for this. I went back on Monday last week and although it really felt like a breath of fresh air to be wearing smart clothes and talking to grown ups, I did feel a certain sense of having to ‘prove’ myself. I must remember my balls. I must remember my balls. Thank you. xx #stayclassymama

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  • July 21, 2016 at 10:41 am
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    Yes! I love it! Strap on the Mum-balls ladies! Now we can kill it at home and in employment! #stayclassymama

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  • July 21, 2016 at 11:32 am
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    brilliant write up and love taking the bits of being a mother and applying them to work. because it is TRUE. being a mum should be enhancing working women everywhere, not making them feel somewhat less capable. #staclassy

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  • July 21, 2016 at 12:02 pm
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    Too right! And I agree, motherhood for me has made me more able to organise organise organise! This is a great positive message to women going back to work (and could apply in lots of situations such as long term sickness etc) as well as after having a baby. Be strong ladies – and defo pack ya cahones x#stayclassymama

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  • July 21, 2016 at 12:03 pm
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    I wouldn’t go as far as Andrea Leadsom but I do think being a mum does make you a better more organised person, capable of juggling and prioritising!
    #StayClassyMama

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  • July 21, 2016 at 12:35 pm
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    Definitely personally agree about being even greater now a mum…I feel I have not lost anything I knew or could do before, but instead have simply gained a shedload of other stuff. SOunds like you made a wonderful, brave decision.
    I’d say stuff the balls though, surely we don’t need balls for this, we’ve got it. So don’t leave your awesome, powerful vagina/womb/anything down there really at home! #stayclassymama

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  • July 21, 2016 at 12:49 pm
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    Love the term “relocating my balls!” : )
    I’ve always thought it’s such a shame that mothers in the workplace often have to apologize for being mothers.
    #StayClassyMama

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  • July 21, 2016 at 1:02 pm
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    When I was pregnant with my son I had a horrible time at work. I had complications and spent time in the hospital and at home on bed rest. They were constantly asking me if I was going to cut down on my maternity leave because I had missed work during my pregnancy. When I switched my ob care to a larger facility they harassed me because they wanted me to stay at my place of employment for my care. It was a much smaller facility and I didn’t feel safe delivering there. Long story short I don’t work there anymore and I am so happy that I don’t. It’s sad that getting pregnant and having babies is an inconvenience to our employer. Great post! #StayClassyMama

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  • July 21, 2016 at 1:27 pm
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    Sarah I love this. I am in exactly this place right now and it was just what I needed to hear. I’m so glad you picked this one to re-share this week. Amy x
    #stayclassymama

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  • July 21, 2016 at 1:47 pm
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    This is such an inspirational post and one that others will draw strength from. Hopefully it will enable others not to fall into that trap. Well done for finding your balls again and recognising that you are now even more awesome 🙂 Alison x #StayClassyMama

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  • July 21, 2016 at 6:31 pm
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    I was just telling my husband how I think I’m a better employee now than I was before having a baby. I need to leave work at 4pm every day to pick her up, so I need to be more efficient when I’m at work to make sure I get everything done in time. My colleagues are starting to notice – and it feels good to get some recognition. It makes it a bit easier to know that when I leave my daughter at nursery, I’m doing something that I’m good at. #stayclassymama

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  • July 21, 2016 at 7:30 pm
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    This is brilliant and I’m sure it will help lots of people re-evaluate what they are really worth and whether their employer is recognising that. It’s a shame your old workplace didn’t realise how brilliant you clearly are but I am glad you’ve moved on to bigger and better things! I think there needs to be a serious rethink across most workplaces as to how they treat mothers because it’s so often a setback in women’s careers if they go on maternity leave and it doesn’t need to be. #stayclassymama

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  • July 21, 2016 at 10:03 pm
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    Finding this post couldn’t come at a better time as I’m heading back to work after eight months off on maternity leave next week. I like to think that I’m better, stronger person having become a mother but I can totally imagine feeling how you did if I were treated differently. I hope I remember where I put my balls next Tuesday. Great post (as usual) xx

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  • July 22, 2016 at 8:41 pm
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    OMG Sarah this is ace. EVERY working mother should read this. Crippling lack of self confidence affects I’d say 90% of us after having a baby and the other 10% are liars. It’s so hard to stroll back into a working role after your head space and LIFE AS YOU KNOW IT has changed forever…. we all need to remember that we’re kick ass bitches, we were before and we are even MORE hardcore for pushing a bub out the vaj (or the roof) and keeping it alive! YES! #StayclassyMama

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  • July 23, 2016 at 10:08 am
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    Aw this is lovely and so true – it’s easy to be self depracating and tell ourselves it’s a negative that we’re mum’s but actually there are a lot of positives that come with it….mult tasking being one! Such an inspirational post – thanks for hosting #stayclassymama

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  • July 23, 2016 at 1:18 pm
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    Your first company sound like total a-holes! How dare they make you feel inadequate just because you’re a Mum! Grrr! 🙂 Being a new Mum is so confusing, I think it takes time to remember who you are and adjust to the fact that you are still that person and a totally new one all at the same time!
    So glad you ‘re-located your balls’ (ha ha love that) and now work for someone who appreciates you! xx

    #stayclassymama

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  • July 24, 2016 at 1:47 pm
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    Well done you! Power to the Mamas! Really enjoyed reading this post. So many mums feel like this and some aren’t brave enough to fight. #stayclassymama

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  • September 29, 2016 at 7:59 am
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    Once I went back to work after maternity and they had something like oooh we thought you’d stay home now. Dugh.

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