I work five days a week, full time.

Every now and then, every couple of months or so I take a days paid leave from work and spend it on my own.

I could spend it with my Son. But I don’t, I send him off to Nursery as usual.

And so, here’s the thing:

I don’t feel guilty about this, I don’t give a tiny rats-arse. He’s fine, he loves Nursery and he loves his routine.

I need to be alone, just me, where there is silence.

Do you know that during the course of a normal week the only time I get to myself, the only silence I get is on my drive to and home from work? That’s approximately thirty minutes in total.

Everyday, thirty minutes.

I’m not complaining, I’m just explaining.

There’s only been a handful of these days so far, I’ve been back working full time for just over a year now. But as I use one up, I book another in for a couple of months time. I don’t do anything major, I don’t spend all day at a Spa. I don’t run for the hills or disappear into some drink and drugged fueled daze.

I just do whatever I feel like.

I’ve done the food shop, taken a nap, hung up curtains, had my eyebrows waxed. I’ve been to the cinema, I should have cleaned the oven but I didn’t. I’ve stayed home, in my PJ’s and watched an entire season of GIRLS in seven hours.

I write blog posts.

I went to the Mcdonalds drive thru with no bra on.

If I didn’t take this day every now and then, I think I might go crazy. I need to get off schedule, get off everyone elses schedule and just hear my own voice in my head.

I need the silence.

From the moment you step onto that boat of parenthood, every single decision you make is required to be entirely self-less. You must abandon your wants, needs and former self and give everything to another and put their needs first. Couple that with a full time job and your life is no longer your own, you run from one demand to another in a constant state of exhaustion and confusion.

I love it.

It occupies my mind, I’m no longer  afraid like I used to be.

But I hate it too and that is why I need these days, every now and then.

Just so I can hear the silence.

 

 

 

I Take Days Off Work And Don’t Spend Them With My Son

55 thoughts on “I Take Days Off Work And Don’t Spend Them With My Son

  • March 30, 2016 at 6:44 am
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    My response to this is….”and”? Are you supposed to want to spend every spare minute with your son? Going back a couple of years, I had a part time job (I’m a stay at home dad). It was the most stressful time ever. During that period, I never had time to myself. I was either working part time or had kids with me, 24/7, 365. The thought of the odd day off, well, it appealed but it never happened! At least now I have some child free time when my youngest is in pre-school. My word do I need it. #MMWBH

    Reply
  • March 30, 2016 at 11:32 am
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    No doubt someone will be along shortly to tell you how wrong you are, but I agree with you. There are times when you need Mummy Time. Exclusive Mummy Time with just Mummy. Doing Mummy Stuff. Enjoy!

    Reply
  • March 30, 2016 at 1:11 pm
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    Gotta have this time every once in a while or we’d all go nuts. Right there with you on this

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  • March 31, 2016 at 6:18 am
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    I wish I could do the same, but working in a school means my time off is the same as the children. Sometimes you just need some peace and quiet and time for yourself.

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  • March 31, 2016 at 8:27 am
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    Oh I love this and I completely understand the overwhelming need for silence sometimes. I think taking a day for yourself is really important as it helps keep us sane. Sometimes we just need a day to binge watch Netflix 🙂 #stayclassy

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  • March 31, 2016 at 11:00 am
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    I don’t blame you – I crave that me time too. I’m home with my daughter full-time while on mat leave, but will be going back to work soon. I love when my husband takes her for a walk on the weekends, leaving me alone for an hour so I can do whatever I want. It’s nothing exciting – blog, clean, read – but it’s my own time.

    Reply
  • March 31, 2016 at 12:35 pm
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    My favourite thing about this post? “I went to McDonald’s drive thru with no bra on”.

    I’m going back to work full time in July and the thing I’m most looking forward to is my 2 hour train commute – I might actually get to read a book for the first time since my contractions started!

    Reply
      • April 1, 2016 at 6:43 pm
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        I get on at the end of the line, so bar train delays, I ALWAYS get a seat 🙂 i can’t wait!

        Reply
  • March 31, 2016 at 12:51 pm
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    You certainly don’t need to justify wanting a bit of alone time to anyone. I work full time as well so I can definitely relate. #StayClassy

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  • March 31, 2016 at 1:39 pm
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    Part of me can’t wait until I go back in the summer so I can do this. Currently at home with both (NG 2 1/2 and NC 6mo). I have one day a week when I ‘only’ have the baby. It’s not enough – I’ll be doing the same and now DEFINITELY taking my bra off to go to the McD drive thru too. 🙂 #stayclassy

    Reply
  • March 31, 2016 at 3:00 pm
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    God I love GIRLS – I’m working my way through it on Sky box sets during the never ending breastfeeding sessions I’m enduring. Good for you anyway, I think it should be some sort of rule that all mothers get a day off to themselves. I wouldn’t even describe it as a luxury – more of a necessity! #stayclassy

    Reply
    • April 1, 2016 at 6:18 pm
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      That is awesome because no one I know – knows GIRLS and I’m obsessed with it! Maybe it’s not very popular over here, I have no idea why it is so great! I watched eight seasons of Greys Anatomy whilst on maternity leave so I hear ya! Xx

      Reply
  • March 31, 2016 at 6:04 pm
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    Time off for ourselves is so important, we need to fill up our glasses, or maybe it’s empty them ready to be filled…I can’t remember. But basically yes, so important! #stayclassy

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  • March 31, 2016 at 11:05 pm
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    My God girl, never feel bad about it you are a BETTER parent for it #brilliantblogposts

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  • April 1, 2016 at 7:56 am
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    I think it is really important for parents to have some time alone. I can imagine working full time and being a mum is very full on. I’m a stay at home mum and find it so difficult sometimes. Now my son goes to play school Ince a week and I cherish those 3hours I have to myself and I don’t feel bad at all.xx #picknmix

    Reply
  • April 1, 2016 at 8:24 am
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    Don’t sweat it! You deserve your mental health day! I love everything about this post!

    Reply
  • April 1, 2016 at 8:38 am
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    I had to read and comment on this as I sit here on my Easter break from work (I’m a teacher) whilst I’ve sent my children to nursery (mostly because I’ve already paid!). I am sooooo looking forward to a day for me – watching the programmes I want to watch, meeting a friend for coffee. I can’t wait. We are better parents when we take time to remember who we are 🙂 #effitfriday

    Reply
  • April 1, 2016 at 8:41 am
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    Fair play to you! My kids go to their dads three afternoons a week and while two of them I work, sometimes three…if I get the chance I will spend the time lying on my sofa, not cleaning and eating chocolate without hiding in the kitchen haha! #PickNMix
    http://www.parentingbynumbers.co.uk

    Reply
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  • April 1, 2016 at 10:51 am
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    Such a good idea! I am hoping to convince my partner soon to look after the babu so I can have some time to write alone! I love my boy but the 1 hour nap he takes isn’t enough to get me stuff done. Those 30 minutes a day to yourself aren’t yours… You are driving, thats not alone time!! So you go have a day off for you!! #effitfriday

    Reply
  • April 1, 2016 at 12:05 pm
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    This!! 100% agree with you. I only work two full days a week and I really enjoy the quiet bus ride to work. I spend the rest of the week with kids, mine, and other peoples. I get three hours to myself three days a week which is great! But, I rarely use it to my advantage, I run around cleaning like a nutter. Sarah #FabFridayPost

    Reply
  • April 1, 2016 at 1:55 pm
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    I have just laughed out loud so hard with the drive through with no bra line:) I always take a week off after the school holidays just so my frazzled brain can try and calm down a little. I’m right there with you:)

    mainy – myrealfairy

    #stayclassy

    Reply
  • April 1, 2016 at 2:06 pm
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    Totally understand you cause I used to the the same, not so much these days as my eldest is at school and I need more holidays. I used to feel a bit guilty but then I realised we all need a bit of me time!
    #FabFridayPost

    Reply
  • April 1, 2016 at 4:11 pm
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    Hi Sarah, I bet there’s going to be a lot of people booking odd days off after reading your post and I for one think it’s an excellent idea.

    Parents shouldn’t be ashamed to say they need a little ‘me’ time and I say well done you!

    xx

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  • April 1, 2016 at 5:46 pm
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    This is so utterly important. I don’t work in the conventional sense – all my spare time goes into the blog. But I certainly don’t ever do this. I love it. I might try it… X
    #PoCoLo

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  • April 1, 2016 at 5:51 pm
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    I totally agree with you on this – silence is golden and we all need a little time away from the world to recharge! #FabFridayPost

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  • April 1, 2016 at 6:12 pm
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    Sounds like a great day!! We also need time alone so the time we spend together is great too 🙂 Happy mum happy kids 🙂

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  • April 1, 2016 at 7:30 pm
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    Good for you! I think it’s so important that parents get some “Me” time, otherwise we’ll all go a bit loopy. It does us good and that in turn is only a good thing for the kids. #BrillBlogPosts

    Reply
  • April 1, 2016 at 8:56 pm
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    Needed to read this post. Been feeling guilty about craving me time. I’m on mat leave but return PT next month. Already fantasising about booking a day off while the boy is at nursery and his sister is in school. May do some online shopping in peace or a few jobs around the house I’ve put off. Perhaps nothing. Haven’t had a moment to myself for the best part of a year and although I love the chaos I want just a few hours of not being responsible for anyone else. Thank you for sharing #PicknMix

    Reply
  • April 1, 2016 at 9:49 pm
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    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this – people need to do what works for them! #MMWBH

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  • April 2, 2016 at 8:49 am
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    This is so refreshing to read, I absolutely love this post. Everyone needs a bit of alone time…yesterday I had a 2 hour coffee, first time I hadn’t drunk coffee half cold like it was water!! x #FabFridayPost

    Reply
  • April 2, 2016 at 10:42 am
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    I totally agree – we need time to ourselves. Post-kids a cinema trip in the middle of the day is the ultimate luxury – I’d do it more often if I could. #pocolo

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  • April 2, 2016 at 4:30 pm
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    Oh I envy you and your free time! It feels like I spend 24 hours a day with my children, 7 days a week and it can be SO unhealthy and detrimental to my mental health too!! I crave those moments when I hear nothing but silence, when I can read a book or watch a TV show or just lie on the couch and enjoy doing nothing!! When my youngest starts nursery in September, for two mornings a week I am going to have time to myself for the first time in twelve years. And I cant wait!!!!!!! #PoCoLo

    Reply
  • April 4, 2016 at 8:27 am
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    This is such a great post, I love the way this is written, so clear and impactful. It’s so true, becoming a parent means not having even a second to yourself, which is why I take notoriously long bathroom breaks. When I return back to work full-time in June, I’m going to copy you and book in some days for myself as well. Really great idea, I know at some point I will need to re-center and have a moment to be me. Thanks for linking up with #StayClassy!

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  • April 5, 2016 at 3:32 pm
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    We all need our ‘me time’ being a parent doesn’t mean devoting every single second to your kids! I love mine with everything I have but I also love to escape with either my husband or friends for a weekend a few times of year. I need that time to just be me instead of just mummy! We’re still people!

    Em xXx #StayClassy

    Reply
  • April 5, 2016 at 8:31 pm
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    Me time is so needed and something that we should all not feel guilty for taking. Thanks so much for linking up to the #MadMidWeek Linky! x

    Reply
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  • April 7, 2016 at 1:49 am
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    I can totally relate to this. Sometimes you need to unwind and recharge. Love that you wear no bra. I sometimes forget that too! Haha 🙂 Thanks for linking up #FabFridayPost

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  • April 7, 2016 at 7:34 am
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    I have a part time job and similar to DadBlogUk find it very sressful I never ever have any alone time, the only time I do is driving to work after dropping the kids and Im usually in a rush so its hardly relaxing. I miss time for myself. I would do this if I could! x

    Reply
  • May 18, 2016 at 7:10 pm
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    Me too! I do it too! I’m a working mum and I just like to take the (very) odd day to just do what the hell I like. And sometimes that’s just buying a magazine and sitting in a cafe. I have simple tastes. Thanks for sharing. I might admit it to more people now!

    Reply
  • June 13, 2016 at 11:00 am
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    I have done this and at first felt a bit guilty but not anymore. You get so little time to yourself that its vital for your mental health to do this. Once my husband suggested joining me – ‘er no, thank you!’

    Reply
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  • February 24, 2017 at 8:48 am
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    This post made me jealous. Half-term week here and I am counting the minutes until pre-school opens again on Monday. I need my silence again #FridayFrolics

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  • February 24, 2017 at 5:21 pm
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    I love this post and couldn’t agree more! I went back full time in January after ten months maternity and I took my birthday off.
    And I did the same as you. I left the Little Lady in nursery and went to the gym and had my eyebrows done.
    We’re working mother’s but we’re still human and still a person.
    This is a fab idea and I may copy in order to keep myself sane too.

    Reply

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