Our son turned three this month and he is not potty trained. For some people, this is quite a big deal. For us, for him – it just isn’t.

Whilst he has used a potty over the last six months and been reasonably chilled about it, we have never done full on potty training with him. Why? Because we know our son, and we know whats best for him.

They say you’ll know when they’re ready. And we do, that time is now. Not a year ago, not six months ago, not at the start of the Summer, now.

I’m sure lots of children were potty trained by the time they were two years old, certainly before their third birthday. I’m sure lots of babies slept through the night from birth. I’m sure lots of children said their first word sooner than others or were walking before their first birthday.

I’m sure of all these things but I don’t care about them. I’m sure you say I’m a lazy parent but I don’t care much for that either.

I’m sure about my child and I don’t participate in that competitive parenting game, I have nothing to prove.

We are not bothered if he’s a bit behind.  We are not bothered if he’s a bit ahead.

Perhaps you think we let him run riot. Perhaps sometimes we do.

It’s the key as to why he’s so happy and loving and has such a cracking personality.

You see, we are in no rush to create anxiety or stress within him, over something so trivial as taking a shit.

I have suffered with severe anxiety, I am so mindful of his mental health, I hold it as highly as his physical health and certainly above any academic or developmental achievements.

Our goal with him is to raise a confident, kind, easy going human being.

It’s not to raise a kid, who can successfully shit in a plastic box quicker than his peers.

Life is bigger than that.

I don’t mind that my three year old isn’t potty trained, so why do you?

I Don’t Mind That My Three Year Old Isn’t Potty Trained, So Why Do You?
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32 thoughts on “I Don’t Mind That My Three Year Old Isn’t Potty Trained, So Why Do You?

  • August 24, 2016 at 5:45 pm
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    Totally agree. My son was just over three, took to it no problem cos he was ready. But this is just another way to beat each other up and make ourselves feel better by comparing ourselves with others. Boo to that.

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  • August 24, 2016 at 7:33 pm
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    For my girls to keep their place at the school nursery they had to be toilet trained by the time they started….For my youngest she started nursery a few days after her 3rd birthday. She wasn’t ready to be toilet trained but had to be so was pushed into it. She struggled but got there in the end….

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  • August 24, 2016 at 9:03 pm
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    I love this! My son is tall for his age and I was so sure people would see the top of his nappy sticking out the top of his jeans. He will be 4 in a months’ time and we only trained him in March so 3.5 years old. I’m glad we waited until he was fully ready as it only took us about a week for him to be dry day and night! It’s no one else’s business.

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    • August 29, 2016 at 9:20 am
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      Im so glad i read this! My daughter was 3 in march and still in nappies. We’ve tried using the potty but it stresses her out so have left it. I have 5 girls, youngest 2 are twins age 2. No way im starting beforw they are ready either. Would be a nightmare!

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  • August 25, 2016 at 2:45 pm
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    I couldn’t agree with you more, and thank you for sharing your views. It’s amazing how many opinionated momma’s out there share there judgements so willy-nilly. Bravo in considering both physical and mental health of you little one. M’wah! <3

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  • August 26, 2016 at 4:33 pm
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    Brilliant post. My daughter is three years and three months old. She finally cracked weeing in her potty in a day this week. I know that she was the last of all her friends. But we had tried earlier and it was a disaster. As you say, you know your child and you know what is right for them. Hugs Lucy xxxx

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  • August 27, 2016 at 11:20 am
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    Yes to this. Mine has just turned three and we have had attempts but she’s not ready yet. While I’m calm about it, people around me seem to be worried. If she’s still not potty trained by 15, then I’ll worry! Great post.

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  • August 29, 2016 at 12:50 pm
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    I completely agree with you. My son was 3 yrs 3 months when he decided he was ready for big boy pants. We had a potty at home and told him what it was for and then let it happen naturally when he was ready. We had one accident and that was it – dry days and nights within a couple of days without any stress or worry.

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  • August 29, 2016 at 1:11 pm
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    Lovely to be in a position to have a choice as to when to potty train, but be prepared to be called in to the primary school if s/he fills her pants as has happened more than once at our school. Unless it’s a medical condition, no nappies to be worn in Reception class and TAs will only change wet pants, not fouled

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  • September 22, 2016 at 8:10 am
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    This is so refreshing to hear . I think sometime people push there children to do it too early . Like you say it’s best to wait till
    He is showing signs and is ready ! #stayclassymama

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  • September 22, 2016 at 7:17 am
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    Thank you for writing this. My son is 3 in 2 months and I’ve been trying to potty train over the last few months with varying success. He’s just gone into his 2nd year of pre-school and many of his peers are trained, it bothers me sometimes. I’m so pleased I read this because I know it will happen eventually. And bollocks to everyone else. #stayclassy

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  • September 22, 2016 at 8:10 am
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    So much pressure on potty training! My MIL went on and on about my nephew potty training (who is NOTHING TO DO WITH HER – not even the same family). My daughter has taken an interest and is mostly potty trained before her 2nd birthday. It goes to show that all children are different and everyone else should just butt out!! #StayClassyMama

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  • September 22, 2016 at 8:22 am
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    I agree, every child is different and you should just go with the flow, so to speak. Training them too early and before they are ready can be harmful too #staylcassymama

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  • September 22, 2016 at 8:57 am
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    Great post. Too many people have an opinion on things when it has bugger all to do with them. I tried potty training my eldest when she was just over 2 and she didn’t have a clue and was just piddling everywhere resulting in me just getting narky with constantly mopping up wee. I left it a few more months by which point she’d grasped when she needed the toilet and we skipped the potty pretty much straight away and she used the toilet with no accidents. Night time took a lot longer but we got there. So long as they’re dry by the time they start school I can’t really see what it matters! No point stressing them and you out when they’re just not ready! #stayclassymama

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  • September 22, 2016 at 11:32 am
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    Love this post! Why the panic? Why the pitting of our kids against others? So frustrating. They all do it in their own time. I’ve yet to meet an adult who hasn’t nailed it! 😉

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  • September 22, 2016 at 11:05 am
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    This! A pushy relative of mine kept insisting we should train my son to pee standing up, before he had even transitioned from potty to toilet, I knew he wasn’t ready and kept telling them so. Fast forward to a few weeks ago he called me into the bathroom to show me that he was peeing standing up, which he had taught himself! (admittedly after seeing daddy do it) So he did it when he was ready all by himself, as they should! xx #stayclassmama

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  • September 22, 2016 at 11:09 am
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    “I have nothing to prove” – precisely! Do what works for you and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty xx #stayclassymama

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  • September 22, 2016 at 11:25 am
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    My first was a peice of cake to potty train- the second was almost three but super compliant when it came to trying. The twins are so far from even starting I dont know where to begin. You have to be potty trained by three to start preschool here. If that wasnt the case I don’t think I would give a hoot though.

    #stayclassymama

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  • September 22, 2016 at 11:49 am
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    #StayClassyMama. You go girl! I couldn’t. Agree with you more. No point making the kids anxious about taking a shit. It will happen when they are ready.

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  • September 22, 2016 at 12:19 pm
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    No two children are the same, they all do things in their own time. As you say you know your child best – really great post!

    #stayclassymama

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  • September 22, 2016 at 2:52 pm
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    Good for you standing your ground. You know your child best. I don’t like to judge people at all but sometimes I wonder if people are potty training too early. But at the end of the day it’s what works for the child.

    Great post!

    #StayClassyMama

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  • September 22, 2016 at 6:53 pm
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    Heeellll yeah. It’s no one’s place to judge what your kid is or isn’t doing. They do things in their own time and their own pace, and you know them better than anyone else. #stayclassymama

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  • September 22, 2016 at 6:55 pm
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    Good for you! It’s always other people that have an issue with it isn’t it? Namely my mother in law, ha! My youngest daughter was three before she potty trained and I had all kinds of comments about whether I was concerned or not. In the end she took off her nappy one day and it never went back on, she was just ready which is the most important thing!! #stayclassymama

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  • September 22, 2016 at 7:24 pm
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    Why should anyone else mind? People just love getting involved in other people’s shit don’t they? I’m so glad you are rising above it. Alison x #stayclassymama

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  • September 22, 2016 at 7:45 pm
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    Love this – only you know what is best for your child! I know people who trained their child when they were two and it took months and months I trained my eldest a month before she was 3 it took a couple of days. This worked best for us – each to their own. #coolmumclub

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  • September 22, 2016 at 9:01 pm
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    This could be on everything – I don’t give a toss how you gave birth, I don’t care if you breast feed, couldn’t care less if your kid is in daycare….everyone needs to butt out and mind their own business. #Stayclassymama

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  • September 23, 2016 at 7:36 am
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    Hear hear! They all do things at different times and your son is clever and funny and eloquent and sociable (going from the Olympics cooking vid) and a whole load of other things that matter a lot more than potties. #StayClassyMama

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  • September 23, 2016 at 7:53 pm
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    Too bloody right!! We’re 2.3 -and not showing any signs of wanting to potty train. He does about 5 poos a day so it’s going to be a right shit storm when it is time. #stayclassymama

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  • September 10, 2017 at 5:49 am
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    My daughter is almost 3 and not potty trained yet and I get asked a lot of questions about it. But the truth is, she just wasn’t ready. And I’m okay with that. Thanks for sharing this post.

    Reply

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