George Osborne is literally taxing my vagina, and I voted for him, the bastard.

Maybe I should have voted Labour, in particular for Stella Creasy who addressed the Commons last week about vagina added tax and forced some old, pompous guys to say the terrible word ‘tampon’. She seems like the kind of girl I could get on well with, even if she doesn’t like Jaffa Cakes.
But anyway its too late for all that now, I’ve just got to carry on living in a country where my natural and involuntary biological body processes are deemed as cosmetic and optional.

It is after all, terribly extravagant of me to menstruate.

I suppose I could opt out of using tampons and sanitary towels. I do use them at my discretion, I’m not going to die if I stop using them am I? Tampax and Bodyform do not sustain my life force, unlike all the kangaroo kebabs I eat. Their zero rated and should be, I need that kangaroo meat to stay alive.
I should just stop using ‘ladies things’ and hide away for four to seven days every month. My boss will totally understand he can cover my work whilst I stay at home and bleed in shame.

I could always have another baby, that would stop those frivolous periods, at least for a little while. I mean I can’t afford another child and I don’t particularly want one right now but that’s hardly the point is it? The point is, once again I’ve failed as a women to get pregnant and now I have to pay the price. I’ve got to pay my Vagina Added Tax with all the other females because like an idiot, I went and got born with one.

If I started taking the contraceptive pill that would prevent or postpone my periods. It would also muck up my hormones and my other medications but I’ve just got to stop being so selfish and bloody opulent. I could be spending that tampon money on feeding my kid marshmallow tea cakes or playing games of chance.

I’ve got to get my priorities straight, just like George has. He knows that exotic meat and lottery tickets are more of a necessity than the prevention of all this womens nonsense. Why didn’t my tax payers education teach me important things like that? Its probably my Mothers fault, she’s got a vagina too.

Fed up with your vagina being taxed? You should sign this petition.

 

George Osborne Is Taxing My Vagina

21 thoughts on “George Osborne Is Taxing My Vagina

  • November 4, 2015 at 12:14 pm
    Permalink

    oh my goodness YES!!!!!! YES to all of this post.
    The more I think about this the less I can comprehend what loony came up with this. If men (and by men I mean Mr Osborne) had to go through this every month then they wouldn't come up with such ludicrous ideas to make money.
    Totally spot on my friend!
    Vix
    #fabfridaypost

    Reply
  • November 5, 2015 at 11:20 am
    Permalink

    Haha! It's ridiculous, isn't it? & if everyone did go on the pill to prevent periods, the bloody government would be paying for that as contraceptives are free prescriptions (though I imagine it is an oversight soon to be rectified that Voldemort has allowed free prescriptions to continue to exist…) I thought this was something so clearly ludicrous & unfair that no one would bother to support it or argue about it. But once again I underestimated the pettiness, greediness and misogyny of the Tory Party, which was silly of me. After all, their *ahem* 'esteemed' leader managed to say he believes in equality, which is why a third of his MPs are women! Very glad thousands and thousands and thousands of pounds were not wasted on that education.

    Did you see all the sarcastic tweets about the luxury of tampons? They were pretty funny. There were people enjoying luxury pampering sessions with tampons on their eyes!

    Reply
  • November 5, 2015 at 12:40 pm
    Permalink

    Well said! Where to start with George Osborne – the man is an imbecile. Just about to go and sign the petition #FindTribe

    Reply
  • November 5, 2015 at 1:09 pm
    Permalink

    hahaha! Very good cause. I wonder if it's the same around the world?

    Reply
  • November 5, 2015 at 1:48 pm
    Permalink

    Loved this! My other half and I were talking about this the other day and he said himself that if men had periods sanitary products would all be free, and it would be a perfectly good reason to stay in bed for a week! 🙂 #findyourtibe

    Reply
  • November 6, 2015 at 10:24 am
    Permalink

    I just love reading your post! You are such a great writer. It's Osborne fault he doesn't have a vagina. I'm guessing how doesn't have the balls too! Have signed the petition. Thank you for linking up with me again. #FabFridayPost

    Reply
  • November 6, 2015 at 10:39 am
    Permalink

    I couldn't believe this when I heard about it. Tampons are NOT a luxury item! You can tell this idea came from a man! argh, it really winds me up! #picknmix

    Reply
  • November 6, 2015 at 12:14 pm
    Permalink

    Personally I think it is highly inconsiderate of you to keep having these periods. And if you insist on having them then you should jolly well be taxed on the equipment needed to aid you having your period. What you are saying makes no sense whatsoever and is quite frankly selfish. *what I imagine Mr Osbourne thinks.
    Great post 🙂 #effirfriday

    Reply
  • November 6, 2015 at 7:21 pm
    Permalink

    I know whenever I walk in to Tesco and see a row of tampons and sanitary towels, all I can think is “How ridiculously extravagant” before walking on to pick up my essential crocodile meat. I'll be signing that petition, thanks for posting. #fabfridaypost

    Reply
  • November 7, 2015 at 12:09 am
    Permalink

    I've always thought it odd they were treated as a 'luxury' item, luckily they aren't massively expensive if you don;t go for the main brands but still it's a cheek! Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix

    Stevie x

    Reply
  • November 7, 2015 at 12:14 am
    Permalink

    Am I right in thinking kangaroo meat is not taxed as a luxury item? As a vegetarian, I have clearly got something wrong…

    Reply
  • November 9, 2015 at 1:14 pm
    Permalink

    I still can't quite believe or get my head around this. It's the items that are classed as necessary that get me. In particular the tea cakes. I mean, I know they are important, but I'd be happy to pay a little bit of tax on them! I particularly like the piece in the petition “I have a vagina”

    Reply
  • November 9, 2015 at 1:48 pm
    Permalink

    I love this post; it's funny and tackles an important issue. Since I found out sanitary products were classed as 'luxury' items and taxed accordingly I've been pretty miffed even though I'm one of those women on the pill who doesn't get periods.

    Reply
  • November 10, 2015 at 9:53 am
    Permalink

    I love this post! I agree 100% and love the way you have written. It is absoluutely ridiculous that mens razors are an essential when sanitary items are not. Brilliant. Thanks for linking to #Findtribe

    Reply
  • November 11, 2015 at 10:40 am
    Permalink

    Wait so, you don't feel like you're shopping for a luxurious item when out shopping for tampons!?
    This is brilliant, it's ridiculous how crocodile meat is an essential, but sanitary products are deemed a luxury. #cssupport

    Reply
  • November 11, 2015 at 8:57 pm
    Permalink

    It's totally ridiculous that they are taxed it should have been scrapped years ago. I've heard it's to do with the EU laws too. Thanks for linking to #PicknMix

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: